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Frank Thoughts, “Insects versus the Alphabet”

As many of you have discerned by now, I sometimes have a different take on typically routine comments. When the topic of “saving the bees” was mentioned in a recent staff meeting, my mind immediately went to the alphabet. Let’s take a look at how it would differ if the Bb didn’t exist.

Sports would certainly look different. Aseall, footall, asketall and owling would suffer the most. Hockey, lacrosse, tennis, soccer and golf are okay, although golf would have irdies and ogeys. Hunting and fishing don’t get away unscathed. Gun still works, ut it now is the ow and arrow. Fishing totally depends on what you are trying to catch. Tuna, shark and spot are safe. Can’t say the same for ream. The fish sharing the name with Chadourn’s Donald Ray shall not e mentioned here.

Who do you consider the home run king? George “Ae” Ruth? Arry Onds? I’m sticking with Henry Aaron. Top quarterack? Unitas, Manning, Tom Rady. Who do you want on your hoops team, Michael or Leron?

Top roadcaster? Vin Scully or Jack Uck? Maye you are a Cus fan and a ud man like the late Harry Caray

Surprisingly, Division 1 college teams in North Carolina and almost the entire ACC are unaffected. Keep it Pitt, not Pittsurgh. Oston College and the Duke lue Devils each lose our letter. My Alaama Crimson Tide are a single letter victim. Columus County high school teams sharing a name with our county suffer, ut no mascots suffer any damage.

Sports are statistics driven. Stats need numers.You can go all the way to 999,999,999 efore a numer misses our letter.

I imagine you have tired of this topic. It was somewhat difficult to write since spell check is useless. I considered putting a _lank where our letter was missing. I thought you might enjoy the challenge without the _.

The moral, next time you hear about saving the Bb, contribute. Above is proof of how difficult reading would be without it.

Got to go! I hear sports editor, Dan Iser calling.

Bee photo credit to

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april, 2018

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